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24 Beautiful one liners Islamic Quotes

1) Give Allah what’s right, not what’s left.

2) Man’s way leads to a hopeless end Allah’s way leads to an endless hope.

3) A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.

4) He who kneels before Allah can stand before anyone.

5) In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma, but never let him be the full stop.

6) Don’t put a question mark where Allah puts a full stop.

7) Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the mosque for a face lift.

8) When praying, don’t give Allah instructions, just report for duty.

9) Don’t wait for six strong men to take you to the mosque.(FOR YOUR JANAZAAH)

10) We don’t change Allah’s message His message changes us.

11) The mosque is prayer-conditioned.

12) When Allah ordains, He sustains.

13) Plan ahead It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.

14) Most people want to serve Allah, but only in an advisory position.

15) Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Qur’an.

16) Exercise daily Walk with Allah.

17) Never give the devil a ride He will always want to drive.

18) Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.

19) Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.

20) He, who angers you, controls you.

21) Worry is the darkroom in which negatives are developed.

22) Give Shaytaan an inch and he will be a ruler.

23) Allah doesn’t call the qualified He qualifies the called.

24) Read the Qur’an It will show u how simple life can be.

Funny one liners Quotes

25) If I could have you in bed, I wouldn't need the cover to keep warm.

26) Are you a fairytale? [Why?] Because you can't be for real.

27) You're just the way I like my coffee. Tall, black, and strong.

28) Is that a keg in your pants? [No, why?] Cause I'm trying to tap that.

29) You've been a bad boy! Now go to MY room!

30) I've looked for a man with a VCR and I've finally found the perfect one.... thats a Very Cute Rear by the way.

31) Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your jeans.

32) Want to take a swim in my ocean?

33) If you were a booger I'd pick you first.

34) Did you fart? Cuase you blew me away.

35) I bet I could beat you at football. [No way.] Give me the ball and you tackle.

36) Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.

37) Hi. [Trust us, it doesn't take much to pick up the average guy.]

38) Do you have a Band-Aid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you.

39) I may not be Wilma, but I can sure make your bedrock.

40) Do these look real?

41) Want to play fireman? We can stop, drop and roll.

42) Can I have a picture of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

43) [Reach for the back of their shirt and look at the tag, then say:] Just what I thought, made in Heaven.

44) You know, sweetie, my lips won't just kiss themselves...

45) You are the hottest thing since sunburn.

46) I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?

one liners humor

01. Call an old friend, just to say hi.
02. Hold a door open for a stranger.
03. Invite someone to lunch.
04. Compliment someone on his or her appearance.
05. Ask a coworker for their opinion on a project.
06. Bring cookies to work.
07. Let someone cut in during rush hour traffic.
08. Leave a waitress or waiter a big tip.
09. Tell a cashier to have a nice day.
10. Call your parents.
11. Let someone know you miss them.
12. Treat someone to a movie.
13. Let a person know you really appreciate them.
14. Visit a retirement center.
15. Take a child to the zoo.
16. Fill up your spouse's car with gas.
17. Surprise someone with a small gift.
18. Leave a thank-you note for the cleaning staff at work.
19. Write a letter to a distant relative.
20. Tell someone you thought about them the other day.
21. Put a dime in a stranger's parking meter before the time expires.
22. Bake a cake for a neighbor.
23. Send someone flowers to where they work.
24. Invite a friend to tea.
25. Recommend a good book to someone.
26. Donate clothing to a charity.
27. Offer an elderly person a ride to where they need to go.
28. Bag your own groceries at the checkout counter.
29. Give blood.
30. Offer free baby-sitting to a friend who's
really busy or just needs a break.
31. Help your neighbor rake leaves or shovel snow.
32. Offer your seat to someone when there aren't any left.
33. Help someone with a heavy load.
34. Ask to see a store's manager and comment on the great service.
35. Give your place in line at the grocery store
to someone who has only a few items.
36. Hug someone in your family for no reason.
37. Wave to a child in the car next to you.
38. Send a thank-you note to your doctor.
39. Repeat something nice you heard about someone else.
40. Leave a joke on someone's answering machine.
41. Be a mentor or coach to someone.
42. Forgive a loan.
43. Fill up the copier machine with paper after you're done using it.
44. Tell someone you believe in them.
45. Share your umbrella on a rainy day.
46. Welcome new neighbors with flowers or a plant.
47. Offer to watch a friend's home while they're away.
48. Ask someone if they need you to pick up
anything while you're out shopping.
49. Ask a child to play a board game, and let them win.
50. Ask an elderly person to tell you about the good old days.
51. During bad weather, plan an indoor picnic with the family.
52. Buy someone a goldfish and bowl.
53. Compliment someone on their cooking and
politely ask for a second helping.
54. Dance with someone who hasn't been asked.
55. Tell someone you mentioned them in your prayers.
56. Give children's clothes to another family
when your kids outgrow them.
57. Deliver extra vegetables from your garden
to the whole neighborhood.
58. Call your spouse just to say, I love you.
59. Call someone's attention to a rainbow or beautiful sunset.
60. Invite someone to go bowling.
61. Figure out someone's half-birthday by adding 182 days,
and surprise them with a cake.
62. Ask someone about their children.
63. Tell someone which quality you like most about them.
64. Brush the snow off of the car next to yours.
65. Return your shopping cart to the front of the store.
66. Encourage someone's dream, no matter how big or small it is.
67. Pay for a stranger's cup of coffee without them knowing it.
68. Leave a love letter where your partner will find it.
69. Ask an older person for their advice.
70. Offer to take care of someone's pet while they're away.
71. Tell a child you're proud of them.
72. Visit a sick person, or send them a care package.
73. Join a Big Brother or Sister program.
74. Leave a piece of candy on a coworker's desk.
75. Bring your child to work with you for the afternoon.
76. Give someone a recording of their favorite music.
77. Email a friend some information about
a topic they are especially interested in.
78. Give someone a homemade gift.
79. Write a poem for someone.
80. Bake some cookies for your local fire or police department
81. Organize a neighborhood cleanup and have a barbecue afterwards.
82. Help a child build a birdhouse or similar project.
83. Check in on an old person, just to see if they're okay.
84. Ask for the recipe after you eat over at someone's house.
85. Personally welcome a new employee at work
and offer to take them out for lunch.
86. While in a car, ask everyone to buckle up
because they are important to you.
87. Let someone else eat the last slice of cake or pizza.
88. Stop and buy a drink from a kid's lemonade stand.
89. Forgive someone when they apologize.
90. Wave to someone looking for a parking space when
you're about to leave a shopping center.
91. Send a copy of an old photograph to a childhood friend.
92. Leave a pint of your spouse's favorite flavor of
ice cream in the freezer with a bow on it.
93. Do a household chore that is usually done
by someone else in the family.
94. Be especially happy for someone when
they tell you their good news.
95. Compliment a coworker on their role in a successful project.
96. Give your spouse a spontaneous back rub at the end of the day.
97. Serve someone in your family breakfast in bed.
98. Ask someone if they've lost weight.
99. Make a donation to a charity in someone's honor.
100. Take a child to a ballgame.
101. Share this list to 10 of your favorite people!

100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
All men are idiots, and I married their King.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Assassins do it from behind.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back.
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Chocolate: the OTHER major food group.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ass?
Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy.
Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
Death is hereditary.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
Did anyone see my lost carrier?
Diplomacy is the art of saying good doggie while looking for a bigger stick.
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
Double your drive space. Delete Windows!
Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Energizer Bunny arrested and charged with battery.
Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.
Genius does what it must, talent does what it can, and you had best do what you're told.
Get a new car for your spouse; it'll be a great trade!
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Honk if you want to see my finger.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
How does Teflon stick to the pan?
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes
got stuck in my nose.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
I used to have a handle on life, and then it broke.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
If you get to it and you can't do it, well there you jolly well are, aren't you.
If you haven't much education you must use your brain.
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them.
Keep honking. I'm reloading.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Learn from your parents' mistakes: use birth control.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Montana: At least our cows are sane!
More hay, Trigger? No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!
Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.
My hockey mom can beat up your soccer mom.
My mind is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 37 states.
Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
Never mess up an apology with an excuse.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Oh Lord, give me patience, and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
Okay, who put a stop payment on my reality check?
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
Plan to be spontaneous, tomorrow.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Quickly, I must hurry, for there go my people and I am their leader.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Remember half the people you know are below average.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set
Save your breath. You'll need it to blow up your date!
Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have.
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Finland. Now Santa Claus is missing.
The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
The secret of the universe is @*&^^^ NO CARRIER
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
The universe is a figment of its own imagination. There's no future in time travel.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all of its students.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship.
Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
We were born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse.
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
What's the speed of dark?
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly.
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
Who stopped payment on my reality check?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
You are depriving some poor village of its idiot.
You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a kind word.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
Can I borrow your phone number? I seem to have lost mine.
Have I seen you before? Oh yeah! I saw you in the dictionary next to the word KABLAM!!!
Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
Are your pants from outer space? 'Cause your butt is out of this world,=.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Hey, somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
Did you fart? 'Cause you blew me away.
Don't you know me from somewhere?
My love for you is like diarrhea - I can't hold it in
Do you have a library card?'Cause I"d like to check you out
Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. (Oh Really. What is that?) It's just that your number's not in it.
You've got all the curves, and I've got all the angles
Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.
If you were a booger I would pick you first.
You stole my heart. But that's okay. I have another one at home in the fridge.
Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You've got fine written all over you.
Does my breath smell okay?
Ever since I met you, you've lived in my heart without paying any rent.
Excuse me, but did you happen to find my Nobel Peace Prize?
My magic watch says that you don't have on any underwear. (She says yes I do) Damn! It must be 15 minutes fast.
Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
Do you sleep on your belly at night? If no, can I?
If I followed you home, would you keep me?
People call me John, but you can call me tonight!
Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.
You turn my software into hardware!
(Fall in front of a girl) Wow, I've never fallen for a girl like you before.
Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?
I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.
Are you from Tennessee? 'Cause you're the only ten I see!
Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
I think I need to call heaven because they've lost one of their angels.
You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.
Can I even get a fake number?
I would say God bless you but it looks like he already did.
Damn, I'm glad I'm not blind!
If I told you you had a gorgeous body, would you hold it against me?
Excuse me can I borrow a quarter, it is an emergency. My mom told me to give her a call the first time I fell in love.
I'll give you a nickel to tickle my pickle!
Excuse me, do you have a band-aid? Because I cut my knee when I fell for you.
Well here I am. What are your other two wishes?
You smell. Let's shower.
Oh baby, you turn my floppy disk into a hard drive.
Are you an alarm clock? 'Cause you opened my eyes
Are you a zoo? Because you bring the animal out in me.
Are you a magician? Because ever time I look at you, everyone else disappears.
Do you know why I can't see any stars tonight? You outshine them.
Let's save water. Let's shower together.
My neck hurts, because as soon as you walked by I whipped my head!
What pick-up line actually works on you?
Did you get those jeans on sale? Because at my house their 100% off.
Hi, I'm Fun. I don't think you've had me yet.
Are your parents terrorists? Because you're the bomb.
Wanna go behind a rock and get a little boulder?
If I follow the rainbow will I get you in the end?
Good thing I'm not flammable because you're smoking hot.
Do you like water? (Yes) Then you already like 70 percent of me.
If you held six roses in front of a mirror you'd see seven of the most beautiful things in the world.
I'm like a clock and you're the batteries. Without you my world would end!
Hey can you please scratch my back? My arms are far too muscular for me to reach.
Did you hear the latest health report? You need to up your daily intake of vitamin me.
You must be peanut butter because you're making my legs feel like jelly!
Hey my name is John, but you can call me later!
Are you religious? (Why?) Because you're the answer to my prayers.
Hershey factories make millions of kisses a day, but I'm asking for only one.
I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.
Let's play chess. You turn off the light and I'll make the first move!
Can I take your temperature?
Excuse me miss, can I have the time? I'd check my watch but I can't take my eyes off you.
That shirt is awful. Take it off now!
Baby do you have a license? 'Cause you're driving me crazy
You'll do.

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